When we find a new partner, it can be exciting to grow together, bond and find intimacy in talks that you may have never even considered previously. However, if your partner has more sexual experience than you, then you may start to feel intimidated by their sexual prowess. You may start to question yourself on how well you can perform or even start to worry about what your partner thinks about your own fetishes. This is something that everyone goes through and it can be quite difficult to overcome this mentality.
However, you should not feel intimidated by your partner. After all, you are the one that chose them in the first place! If you do not feel comfortable with them then that can potentially be a warning sign about what is to come.
When it comes to your feelings of insecurity, there is always a deeper meaning about why you are starting to feel unhappy. Whether this is due to your own negative feelings about your body, fears of being judged over your sexual kinks or even because of your partners sexual history, there will always be something that you have locked away that you do not feel happy discussing with anyone outside of the bedroom itself.
So before you begin to communicate with your partner/s, it is essential to take a moment to breathe and to think clearly about what the problems actually are. Only you know what you are feeling and how you can overcome it. This is why you need to think clearly about what upsets you and what you need to improve on. Everyone always has a small bundle of shame inside of themselves that makes them feel like they are not good enough or, worse, like you are lacking something.
It is important to remind yourself that this just isn't true. For example, if you are worried about your penis size, just remember that this is something that most men are concerned about. In fact, in a study it was shown that for every time a woman searches "penis size", men search it 170 times.
You are human and, like everyone else, feel the judgement that is placed by our peers. Do not let it interfere with your sex life, for what you do with your package is entirely up to you. Keep telling yourself that you are doing well and soon you will find that you will be able to get over your insecurities, one erection at a time.
Once you have got down to the bottom of your worries, then it is time to share them with your partner. Whether you are in a long term relationship or friends with benefits situation, your partner should be open-minded enough to listen to you talk about anything that is on your mind.
Needless to say, you should not spring all your insecurities on them immediately, as this may lead them to wonder whether or not they are the cause of your anxiety. Instead, you should give them a little warning and ask them to sit down with you. A deep and private conversation should be held when you are in a safe environment and feel ready to do so.
If your relationship is still in its prime, and you do not yet feel comfortable sharing, give it a little bit of time before you share any of your insecurities. Sharing what makes you feel vulnerable is a bonding process and, if it goes well, you will find yourself feeling closer to your partner than ever before. Who knows, they may have their own insecurities about their body or sexuality that they want to share with you.
Sexual Guilt is one thing, but feeling embarrassed about your kinks is entirely another entirely. Whether you are interested in a specific part of the body, a domineering/submissive relationship or perhaps a certain roleplay, when it comes to the bedroom, as long as your partner is comfortable then you should not be embarrassed.
Admitting these kinks to your partner can be an extremely liberating experience, especially if you find common ground with your partner. Better yet, if you want to take your sharing experience a step further, why not visit sexual questionnaires like sexionnaire and MojoUpgrade. These websites can be taken by both you and your partner. They will match up your kinks and find you matching fetishes that you will both enjoy.
Whilst solely thinking with your genitals can lead you into a sticky situation, sharing your lusty thoughts with your partner can make you feel better about yourself and your desires. So share when you are ready, for you deserve to feel good about yourself and all your dirty little secrets.
Exploring yourself with another person can make you feel extremely good about yourself. The self-confidence, and the self-esteem, you can find when someone accepts you for who you truly is euphoric. So take your time finding the right person to satisfy yourself with. Never feel intimidated and get ready for an amazing night to remember.